Results – Port Klang Golf Resort – 25th September 2012


Cannons all.

Port Klang Golf Resort really is a little gem. Quiet, modest and old fashioned, this tranquil corner of Port Klang presents a stern test of golfing skills, it’s tight fairways meandering through the numerous ponds and drains, needing good judgement and accurate positioning of shots on what, at first sight, appears to be a flat and fairly mundane golf course.

A disappointing turn out this week for the September Trophy Game saw 12 LC’s tee it up on a pleasant, cool morning but the sound of distant thunder was ominous and sure enough light rain soon began to fall, developing into heavier steady rain towards the end of the front 9. Fortunately it was short lived and the back 9 was played in near perfect golfing weather and with few other golfers on the course we were all home in good time. Trying to drive a Turf Mate one handed, the other holding the umbrella, proved to be near impossible. You really have to hold on with both hands to these things!
The fairways were good and the greens too, if a bit slow. The only criticism being the bunkers that had only received a cursory raking and were very uneven; not helped by the complete absence of rakes. Jack Niclaus would approve, he being a supporter of the notion that bunkers should be serious hazards to be avoided at all costs rather than a place where most professionals would prefer to be, if not on the green.
On the negative side Port Klang Golf Resort has poor drainage and can only be enjoyed during the dryer months of the year and so this will be our last visit this year; the course already being quite soft. The locker room too is very tacky and with no hot water in the showers, not because its not available but because the management have given instructions to the staff not to turn on the water heater unless someone actually asks for it!!!
Last weeks report on the sorry state of Bukit Unggul was forwarded to their manager May Wong who sent me an apologetic note thanking me for our observations and promising to continue working towards improving the course and the service. Thank you May.
The winner of the September Trophy was Ray Funnell with 39 points off the stick plus 3 bonus points for a total of 42. The runner-up was myself with 38 + 3 = 41 points.
The lowest gross was 90 by John Laidley and the most golf was played by Allan McNicoll with 124. Ray is cut 4 strokes and myself 1 stroke.
11 of us went to Port Village Restoran for an excellent sea food lunch helped along by a generous donation of RM100 by the absent player, Vincent. Thank you Vincent.


 Allan tries on his new hat, alluded into thinking that this new equipment may help his game
 It’s wonderful to see the joy and glee of a golfer being introduced to the turf mate for the first time
 Cannons assembling at the 1st tee on their turf mate chariots
 The 1st hole awaits the onslaught of 12 Cannons
 “Listen Up Cannons!”
 The calm and placid water ….. soon to be disrupted by many balls from Barry Cousins
 Vincent walks off the 1st green

Stuart’s turf mate decides to mount Raymond Keys’ turfmate

 The greens at Port Klang Golf Resort were in very good condition
 The turf mate ….. not many clubs using this ingenious device but fun to drive again after so long
 Thought this was my ball but it turned out to be a giant mushroom
 Barry and his lucky mascot/driver cover
 Another scenic view over one of the many water hazards
 Luckily this was not a bridge that we had to use … but it added a certain rustic charm to the place
 Raymond Keys using a novel technique to support his club … or was it a special way to warm the grip … I don’t know!

A panoramic view over the course

There were many dogs on and around the course .. this pack had taken up residence on the green and were very loathed to move when we arrived

Stuart shows the correct technique on how to play a bunker shot – in this case from a rather stony bunker!

An animated gif as a bonus …..

Port Klang Golf Resort clubhouse …… this could be Malaya back in the 50’s … especially when you saw the state of the shower room

By the end of the first 9 the rain started … but luckily cleared quickly

Lunch was excellent with a wide variety of seafood washed down with copious quantities of the amber nectar

 Mike reviewing the scores while Hans prays for a good result

The damage – RM645.90 for 11 pax

Ray Funnell … the September trophy winner … Congratulations!


Results – Bukit Unggul Country Club – 18th September 2012


Cannons all.

We haven’t played Bukit Unggul since May, mainly because it was in pretty poor condition back then and the M&M service was very slow. Not a lot has changed in the interval. Granted, the course was generally in better shape than previously( the dead tree at the 18th tee box has been removed at last) but the time it takes them to prepare a simple meal is unbelievable.
There was a rush to get onto the first tee ahead of a large group of Chinese seniors; the orange & white shirt sociaty that we increasingly see on a Tuesday lately, who can be horribly slow, and so the 12 LC’s assembled were directed to the back 9 and with no one ahead we were all round in well under 4 hours. Thanks to Ray for taking care of the registration.
Bukit Unggul Golf & Country Club has so much going for it in terms of location and layout that it is almost a crime that it isn’t better managed and presented. It really wouldn’t take much effort to turn it around. They are doing some work to repair kerbs and drains that have lain in disrepair for years, and some of the buggy turning areas that were so ineptly laid a few years back have been extended, not in matching paving you understand but at least a buggy can be turned around now.  But there are still areas on the fairways and their fringes that are completely bare. This can be repaired so easily with just some turf! Of course, when you see the majority of the ground staff sitting under trees doing FA, only stirring from their stupor when when an opportunity to sell a few balls occurs, there is little that can be achieved on the maintenance front.
What a pity.
In a nut shell, the greens were OK but slow and many had patches of damage that had only been sand filled rather than turf plugged. The fairways were average at best and the bunkers were poorly maintained. Out of 10 I would give it 6 at best. But it’s cheap and fairly close to town.
The weather was excellent and a stiff breeze that arrived about half way through meant that we all walked off the course almost dry.
The winner  was myself with 40 points and the runner-up was Andrew Robinson with 38 points. The lowest gross was 85 by Andrew and the most golf was played by Allan McNicoll with 124. I am cut 4 strokes and Andrew 1 stroke.
All 12 of us took lunch at the club house but as I said earlier, the service from the kitchen is so slow that some of us actually visited the kitchen to find out what was causing the delay. 45 minutes seemed about the norm from the time of order to receiving the dish And we were the only ones in the place. Hello!!! The only good news was the bill which left us with a surplus to go into the kitty.
 Aftab Ahmad tees off into the mist.
 Vincent makes it look easy.
 Ray Funnell making it look not so easy.
 The wild boar had been at work in many places all over the course this being a prime example.
The sun trying to cut through the morning mist and cloud.
 A panoramic view over the course.
 Ray in trouble
Bukit Unggul course is located in a very scenic hilly location … if only the course was in better condition.

A new hazard …. a bunker on the green! No the guy who was cutting the greens broke a hydraulic hose on his mower and spewed oil over the green …. this was his repair job!

 Vincent looks in vain for his ball which had disappeared into this grotty drain.
 Ray having the putting yips again.
 Ray and his trusty caddy.
 Ray manages a smile despite the putting blues.
 Another scenic view over the course.
 Ray Funnell drives on the last hole.
 Vincent blast one away on the last.
The Amber Fluid Team make up for fluid loss and await the lengthy time for makan to arrive.

Results – Tasik Puteri Golf & Country Club – 11th September 2012


Cannons all.
Tasik Puteri was in very good condition overall, the only grumble being the bunkers which had been recently refilled with fresh sand that was so deep and soft as to make playing out of near impossible. Remedy; avoid the bunkers I suppose! With surprisingly few other golfers at the course we were off on time after a short dispute between the starter and the supervisor over which of the nines were in play, but once that was sorted out the round proceeded at good pace (for most) on the Puteri & Putera 9’s.
The weather too was good with a strong breeze picking up towards the end of the round.
The winner  was Bernhard Romahn with 44 points and the runner-up was Barry Cousins with 43 points.
The lowest gross was 80 by John Laidley and the most golf was played by Alan Holgate with 119.
Bernhard is cut 8 strokes and Barry 1 stroke.
With the demise of the Equatorial we mustered at the Chin Hiong Restoran half way back to the toll where the food was so-so but the price reasonable. But this was not a patch on the Equatorial.


 The usual chaos at the start to get 20 odd Loose Cannons into buggies and away.
 Our group’s starting hole was the 10th hole – a misty start.
Tony tees off and sets his usual blistering pace around the course – we never saw the group behind us the whole round.
Now just check out the bend in Alan Holgate’s club as he swings through demonstrating the monstrous power he is applying to the club …. now if only that power could be transferred to the ball.
 Aftab chips onto the green on the short over-the-water par 3 14th hole.
 A serene view over the lake …… after we waited for the ripples to die down after Alan’s ball went in.
 Alan again showing his driving prowess.
 Tasik Puteri is a beautiful course and fairly well maintained.
 Alan Holgate has his “energy bar” break after abandoning his play on this hole.
 The tough 18th hole …. it’s uphill all the way.
 Aftab follows the caddy’s lead in combatting the strong morning sun.
 Tony in action on the dance floor.
 Our helpful and always smiling caddy … Dini.
 Tony hits on on a short par 3 3rd hole.
 Alan Holgate in jovial form.

A panoramic view of the long par 5 4th hole.

 Tony Morris also demonstrating his power at club bending.
 Aftab hits one off the tee in a steady and consistent manner.
 You can just see Alan’s ball heading off straight down the middle.
 Tony ponders his putt – the clubhouse drawing closer in the background.
 A fine band of Loose Cannonites – Tony Morris, Alan Holgate, Aftab Ahmad and Stuart Taylor.

 Finally we reach the 8th hole which was our 17th hole … one to go then it’s a much needed refreshment and lunch.
 Tony impersonating an Australian cattle rustler.
 Alan Holgate impersonating an F1 Honda Team driver.
 The final hole – Alan hits his second to the green … or rather short of the green.
The new restaurant “Chin Hiong” was successful although not quite as good as our previous haunt the “Equatorial Restaurant”

 After numerous amber refreshments and a belly full of food, spirits were good.
Barry is in great need of a wardrobe consultant


Results – Berjaya Hills Golf & Country Club – 4th September 2012

Cannons all.
For the second week running we played in the rain.
18 LC’s made their way to the mountains through the KL haze and endured the lengthy registration process that seems to be the norm these days at most local golf venues. We eventually got started at 8:15 under leaden skies; all from tee box 1 as the tenth tee is at the farthest point on the course, and this always leads to a rather long delay between the first and last flight. But more of that later.
By the time the first flight got to the second tee the rain began; a heavy drizzle, and it continued intermittently for much of the front nine. Berjaya Hills was in very nice condition with much long needed maintenance in evidence including the repair of the land slip at the 4th tee box which, while not completely repaired, at least has a new tee boxes to replace those at the foot of the slip and a new buggy track circumnavigating the slip which is a great improvement on the temporary detour across the neighbouring fairway that has been in place for the past year or more.
Berjaya Hills is always a delightful place to be, high in the hills with wonderfully clean air and spectacular vistas. The gallery of Gibbons were very noisy, a bit like American golf galleries, and a magnificent Owl swooped into a tree and watched the LC’s putting exhibition with great disdain before silently gliding away in search of something more interesting.
The winner OCB was Stuart Taylor with 42 points and the runner-up was Ted Parslow.
The lowest gross was 77 by Geoff Parlow and the most golf was played by Allan McNicoll with 118. Stuart is cut 6 strokes and Ted1 stroke.
As I mentioned earlier, there is always a long delay at this track because we believe that we have to start from TB 1 as TB 10 is so far away. The first flight, a 3 ball, were back in under 4 hours with the second 3 ball 10 minutes later. There was then a delay of almost an hour before flight 3 walked off the 18th, 10 minutes of it searching for balls within 150 metrs of the green!!! The last flight came in 90 minutes after the first flight. Maybe we need to bite the bullet and put up with the 10 minute drive to the 10th. But even this will not help unnecessary slow play.
Speed the game up guys.
Poor Bob Simpson was sat at the restaurant for nearly an hour before anyone joined him. He text me with “Where is everone?” followed 45 minutes later with “Am I in the right restauant?”. We had left the changing rooms together! And he was in flight 2!!!! 2 members of flight 1 didn’t stay for lunch and Erol, their 3rd member had to wait for John who was in a later flight and I had to wait for George who was in the last flight. Erol & I had a beer at the 18th to pass the time while waiting for flight 3 to appear.
Anyway, some lessons learned. At venues like this where we adjourn to an off site venue for lunch I will pre arrange the flights. This will help.
Lunch at Restoran 126 in the village was excellent and accompanied by much amber nectar and very reasonably priced.
Despite the delays, a good day out.


Geoff Parslow, Ted Parslow, John Laidley and Glen Wombwell warming up on the 1st tee. Well not exactly warming up … but Glen is warming his hands!
 Erol Akinci and his “Rusty Pecker” at the 1st tee.
 We thought much of the fairway damage on the course had been caused by wild boar action … but here is proof that Alan McNicoll was also to blame!

Panorama photo of the 4th hole.

 “Stop and smell the flowers” as famously quoted by golfer Walter Hagen. These beautiful flowers had dropped from the trees which surrounded the fairways on the 5th hole.
 Here we see some wild boar damage caused just off the green on the 9th hole.
 The unmistakeable profile of Mr. Richard Moss.
 The Berjaya Hills course has some wonderful views over the surrounding hills and has the advantage of being relatively cool due to the altitude.
 Alan McNicoll blasts one away with this new driver on the 10th hole.
 Richard Moss looking in awe at his drive on the 10th.

Panorama photo of the 10th hole green.
 Richard Moss in the valley of sin on the 12th.
 Geoff McLaws looking happy …. couldn’t say that by the 18th!
 The bizarre Colmar Tropicale buildings nestle in the hills in the distance.
 Another fine swing from Alan McNicoll propels him further forward into triple figures.
The fairly straightforward 16th to lull you into a false sense of security and confidence before the last two holes.
A scarifier machine had been in action on the 17th tee box.
Looking back down the tough 17th hole it’s easy to see where you went wrong.



Something extra this week to complete your multi-media desires – some recorded sounds of the gibbons in the jungle surrounding the golf course. It sounded like they were all screeching with laughter …. and this was probably exactly the case given the displays of our golf proficiency.